Reno 911 TV Show Idea, Yelper in Washoe County Jail!

"This place is a slam! Complimentary transportation was provided in a convenient shuffle that will arive to your current location. Upon entering the transportation shuttle a nice greeting welcomes you reading something very similar to Thank you for choosing Reno Police Department for your Transportation Needs. You have several gentleman who all in all, were courteous enough to open doors and even assist me in buckling my seat-belt's, two for extra safety. Upon entering the venue a self service buffet style station was available, highlighting the finest creation to come from two pieces of bread. A mystery non-allergenic peanut butter substance filled the center. Desert included an economic anti-green tub filled with what resembled an orange at first. It can only be described as containing a flavor and texture resembling the pussy discharge of a light medical grade sterilization alcohol. The beverage was a water full of radiating tones of metallic proportions. This was only the beginning of my epicurean adventure, for I had three more meals to come! Breakfast was an unimpressive mixture of what I believe was an attempt at oatmeal. Failed attempt at oatmeal, really don't need to go much further with that aspect, and powdered milk to rinse the slime down. Lunch was something that had been mentioned by other patrons as a highlight and a solid reputation as cat food sandwiches. As a side note pertaining to this name, I went and purchased some wet cat food, and tried a small portion, cat food would be a compliment. No I didn't eat more then a small taste, and the rest was donated to the alley cats. Dinner, oh there were vegetables that flavored like water, that melted on the spork. Yes the spork was the fine dining utensil, of bright orange plastic! The rest I can't truly explain what it was, I offered it to my dining partner, in which he accepted graciously. For it was time for me to end my tour, as a result of a moped."